It’s been a hot minute since I have posted a blog so I wanted to update you all on what has been going on in my life….and trust me….there has been A LOT going on! As many of you have heard, there are so many rumors out there and I am writing today to put the truth out behind those rumors….Here we go….
Rumor….Ryan and I broke up….FACT! Yes, its true, Ryan and I are no longer together. Long story short….ever since he got back from the Big Brother 9 house things have been a little different. Some may say that reality TV changed us, but in actuality, it changed him. Everyone expected me to come back soaking up my 15 minutes of fame and instead, Ryan is soaking it up! He loves to be recognized! Especially when he is with Matty! Which brings me to Matty…..Ryan went to visit Matt in Boston and was supposed to stay for 3 days. I thought I could trust him. I mean after all, I trusted him in the Big Brother house for 3 months and he was an angel…how could I not? Well, there was one day/night that I repeatedly tried to call/text him telling him that I missed him and that I was thinking about him and couldn’t wait to see him. After no response via text or call back I became a female and began psycho dialing him! After all he was with Matty…”America’s Player” also known as well, lets not go there. Matty needs his own blog because I could go on about him for days, but its not my place. So after psycho dialing Ryan he decided to not only NOT answer, but turn his phone off instead! Not Ryan….at all, which made me very suspicious. Ryan then called me the next morning and the first thing I said to him was that he had a lot of explaining to do and all he said to me was, “Babe, I am sorry but I am not coming home today.” “I am going to Newport Harbor with the guys and I don’t know when I will be home!” The rest of this story is history. He ended up coming home 3 days later than expected and things just weren’t the same. I, to this day, still have no idea what went on in Boston. About a week later I went online to pay our cell phone bill and had an intuition. As you all know, when girls have intuitions, they are genearlly right! So I browsed his call log and much to my surprise, I found a particular number that kept coming up in his phone repeatedly….a 774 number. I picked up his phone and dialed the number and it came up as KEVIN 187’s work number. Kevin is one of Matty’s friends in Boston. I wondered why Ryan would be calling Kevin at WORK at these crazy hours so I called Kevin’s work number. Surprise surprise…..it was Christine, some 19 year-old girl that Ryan hooked up with in Boston. Yes, Ryan admitted it. He cheated and I can almost guarantee that she wasn’t the only one that he cheated on me with. Of course Ryan is to blame, but I blame Matty also. I talked to Matty several times while Ryan was out there and Matty continued to assure me that I had a great boyfriend who loves me so much and that I had nothing to worry about…Ha ha ha ha….lies lies lies! Some friend Matty is/was to me. Once we broke up and I moved out I heard a bunch more rumors. Are they true? I might never know.
Rumor….Did Ryan have a threesome with Matty and another girl… FACT/FICTION?! I really don’t know. Ryan doesn’t deny or confirm it, but his friends from home say its true. Is Ryan making it up or did it really happen? Again, I have no idea. I really want to believe it isn’t true because the Ryan I know and love(d) would never do soemthing like that….what guy would….WITH ANOTHER GUY?! Honestly, I don’t even think I want to know.
Rumor….Ryan and I are getting back together….FICTION! I gave my life to Ryan. I gave him everything I had to offer and I got burned. It’s hard to bounce back from something like that. It would be almost impossible for me to ever trust him again. I can’t just turn off my feelings and love for him, but as for right now, no, Ryan and I have gone our seperate ways. Even though he did me wrong, it’s extremely hard to walk away. He was my soulmate and I really thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I cried for weeks and occassionally I still find myself crying, but over what?! It’s spilled milk that can never be cleaned. I am extremely hurt but I will survive. I am a very strong woman who needs to search inside myself to find that independence that I once had. It’s going to take some time and believe me, I am in no rush! Ryan and I have our ups and downs, but we know we owe it to each other to depart on good terms. He will be at my going away party and we have planned to hang out with each other one more time before I leave. We are going to go to sushi or lunch, something we enjoyed doing together while we dated (not sex). It’s going to be hard, but I think I need that for closure. He still holds a large part of my heart and that will probably never go away. Love is a crazy thing! I wish nothing but the best for him.
Rumor….Alex (BB9) bought me a plane ticket to vacation with him in his villa in Newport Beach, California….FACT! Once everyone got word that Ryan and I broke up, Alex, being the amazing guy that he is, offered to fly me out to his villa to get away. He though I could use the vaca to have a good time and forget about all the drama back home and I did exactly that! I had a blast! I have continued to thank Alex from the bottom of my heart for his generousity. We had a great time together! While out there, I also met up with Daniele (BB8)Parker, Chelsia, Crazy James, and Sheila! I had a great time. Chelsia and I have a lot in commom, which we knew we would because we have similar personalities. Alex had to go back to New York a day before me so I spent my last day with Chelsia and we had so much fun! We went to the Farmer’s Market and the Grove to have lunch and do a little shopping. While having a glass of wine, we stumbled upon one on Memphis’ (BB10) friends that he works with. We all talked about how proud we were of Memphis and said that he was playing a great game.
Rumor…Alex and I are dating….FICTION! Alex and I are great friends and we will be friends for life. He lives in New York and I live….well we will save that for the next rumor I adore Alex and I am not counting the possibility of a future with him out, but as of right now, no, we are not dating. I will be planning a visit to Staten Island soon, however to see him and our manager Johnny aka one of Alex’s best friends! I call him Johnny Drama….like Entourage! I should call him “E” for all you Entourage fans, but Drama fits him! Much love to Johnny….and his amazing family! His mom can cook! What Italian New Yorker can’t!? You better believe I will pay a visit to the Tremmil family when I go to Staten Island! Love you guys!
Rumor…I am moving to San Diego, California….FACT! My mom and I are trucking it….cross country to San Diego, California at the end of September. I am moving in with one of my best friends/soroity sisters/adopted BIG from college. Her name is Jill. Jill and I have been planning to move to California since we graduated from BGSU! She went, I didn’t. I have always had a guy and that’s what held me back. Not any more! I am going for it! It’s going to be a big move, but what better time for me to do it then right now! What do I have to lose?! The only thing keeping me in Ohio is my parents and extended family. I will be working as a recruiter for AMN Healthcare, Inc. and I am really excited about it. It’s not teaching, but it will get me started! I would be crazy to move without any job at all!
Rumor….I am going to the BB10 finale….FACT! I will be present at the finale and wrap party for Big Brother 10! I am bringing my friend Lindsey and we leave on the 16th. We will arrive in LA around 10:45 in the morning and Parker is picking us up! I am excited to go back! Stay tuned to my and Chelsia’s new tattoos that we plan to get together! I return to the Buckeye state on the 20th and leave on the 29th for San Diego!
Who am I rooting for to win BB10? I loved Keesha from day one so I would like to see her take home the half million! If Dan or Memphis take it, I would be okay with that too. I believe all 3 of them have played a great game! I like Renny too, but it looks like she may be going home tomorrow! I like the close friendship that Renny and Keesha have and I hope they continue that freindship outside of the house. I can’t wait to meet Renny…she’s a hoot!
So that’s that! I hope I answered all of your burning questions and put an end to the rumors! Thank you all for your support during these crazy times and I look forward to hearing your responses! Take care and much love to you all!”